


Prayers and Sin

by ChristinMKay



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - But I'm a Cheerleader (1999) Fusion, Angst and Humor, Bisexual Dean, Childhood Trauma, Dead Mary, Dean in Denial, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Dean/Lisa - Freeform, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Nerd Dean, Past Character Death, Punk Castiel, Secret Relationship, Summer Camp, Tattooed Castiel, conversion therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-22 23:09:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4854146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChristinMKay/pseuds/ChristinMKay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a mistake, Dean is not gay. Yet here he is in a summer camp where gay kids are turned straight. Dean wishes nothing more than to escape this place. Two people don't share this wish with Dean.<br/>It's Castiel's and Charlie's sixth summer at the camp, because even though their parents try, you can't praythe gay  away. And according to Castiel the summer camp is perfect for unattached hook ups, just don't get caught. Even though they first seem weird to Dean, he realizes that they are not just here for casual sex, but actually act as guardian angels for the gay kids. No matter how often the camp leaders tell the kids that they are going to hell, Charlie and Castiel tell them that there is nothing wrong with being gay and Dean finds himself listening. Because it's interesting, not because he is gay, and definitely not because he has a crush on Castiel, which both is absolutely not the case.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a dyslexic, not a native speaker, and don't have a beta. So I'm sorry for all grammar/spelling mistakes.  
> I'll try not to make this too dark and always balance it out with some humor or fluff, but of course there will be dark chapters, considering that those camps are not nice places and should be illegal.

This is a joke. It has to be. At least that's what Dean is trying to tell himself. His palms are sweaty, his breath is hitched and his legs are shaking. He is thankful that he is sitting and the row in front of him covers his trembling legs.

 _This is a joke_ , he tells himself once more and waits. But nothing happens. The bus doesn't suddenly stop, the grim looking youth leader in the front seat doesn't suddenly jump up and yells “You've got pranked, there is the camera.” No confetti flies through the air, no laughter of the other kids in the bus. His father, Kate, Sammy, and Adam don't enter the bus, laughing and telling Dean the expression on his face is hilarious. None of this happens and Dean loses faith. Maybe this isn't a joke.

“We reach the camp in 10 minutes,” the voice of the youth leader cuts through the silence, and Dean shivers. The guy creeps him out.

This isn't real. It's a dream, a nightmare. Dean tries to pinch his arm, but his hands are so sweaty and shaking it's almost impossible. Why does it have to be so hot on the bus? Dean wonders. By now his entire body is covered in sweat, his shirt sticks to his back. When he finally manages to get his hands steady enough to pinch himself, once again, nothing happens. He doesn't wake up in his comfortable bed. Nobody comes to comfort him, he can't walk into the kitchen and drink a cold glass of water.

“We are there,” the leader announces as the bus drives through a gate. On the top of the gate it says Camp Leviticus - You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination. To the sides there is a 2 meter high fence, Dean can't see where it ends. The gate closes behind the bus and Dean knows there is no way to escape.  
 _This is a mistake,_ he thinks, _I am not gay._

But before he can wallow in self pity any longer, the leader tells them to grab their stuff and leave. Dean takes his duffle and walks out of the bus. He steps onto the dusty floor, the sun blinding his sight. He lifts one arm, trying to see where exactly he his, but he already gets pushed forward. He ends up in the middle of a bunch of teenagers. Most of them look as lost as he, some look bored, others have a certain disgust in their faces. They are girls and boys between 13 and 17. Dean guesses that there are about 50 of them. They stand in front of a small podium, to their left is a lake with canoes at the beach, to their right cabins. Around the cabins and the lake is a forest. It would look like just like a normal summer camp, but Dean does know better. He is not sure all of the kids around him know.

His attention is suddenly drawn to a woman, who steps up to the podium. She wears a pantsuit, pumps, and her brown hair is pinned up to a bun. _A weird outfit for a summer camp,_ Dean thinks. There is a severe expression on her face, her small lips pressed together to a thin line, her eyes cold and emotionless. Dean already doesn't like her.

“Good morning Campers,” she says, her voice even colder than her eyes, “I welcome you to Camp Leviticus.”

Dean doubts that, he doubts that any of them are welcome here. And it isn't a good morning at all.

“My name is Naomi Bourreau, and I am the leader of this summer camp. You are all here for a reason, some of you are most likely already aware of this particular reason.”

She makes a dramatic break, before she speaks again, “You sinned. You dared lust after a person of your own gender, you dared to disobey God. You have become abominations and your parents are well aware of that. They do not wish their children to be a disgusting disgrace, they do no wish for you to go to hell, they do not wish to have sick children, they-”

“Neither did your parents and yet, I'll see you in hell!” a voice yells, and all the heads turn towards the source. It's a boy in Dean's age, maybe a bit older.  The boy is dressed in black skinny jeans, boots and wears a leather jacket. His ears and lips are pierced and the tips of his dark, frizzy hair are dyed blue. He has a teasing smirk on his lips.

“I see you joined our camp this year again, Castiel,” Namoi says calmly, yet her eyes are filled with rage.

“I would never miss you talking so much bullshit to the point that your stupidity disgusts me so much I have to throw up.”

Dean doesn't know if the guy is brave or just plain stupid. But considering that he doesn't even flinch when two people of staff come to drag him away. He doesn't even struggle. Dean's stare lingers on him while Naomi continues with her hate speech. Dean doesn't listen. He lives in Kansas, he gets hate speeches like this all day. He has heard his father talk with revulsion about gays, has heard the people in the church call it sin, has been told gays will go to hell and so on and on. He has learned to block it out. Not because he is gay, what he clearly isn't. But he doesn't judge.

Naomi has just finished her rant, and now explains that they all get sorted into cabins and a cabin counsellor to take of them for now. Unfortunately Dean\'s cabin counsellor is the same guy who watched over them in the bus. His name is Alistair. He is tall, lean and has an evil grin on his lips. Dean doesn't need to use his imagination to come up with a reason why the guy is here. Dean looks at his cabin mates. One of them is small and mouse-ish, he can't be older than 13.

“I'm Samandriel, but you can call me Alfie,” he tells Dean and the other guy, who introduces himself as Victor. He doesn't say more and just stares bitterly.

“You are in cabin number 8,” he tells Dean and the other boys, and leads them to said cabin. It's small and ugly. Inside it's sticky and shady. There are two bunk beds, two closets and a table with a chair. Dean is glad he doesn't have claustrophobia, but still he can see himself go mad in there.

“You have an hour to make yourselves comfortable. Then you have to be in cabin 3 for therapy session. At 6 is dinner in cabin 1. You'll get more information there. I'm in cabin 2 with all the other counsellors,” Alistair tells them, and walks out of the cabin.

“Oh, one last thing,” his head pops back through the door, “if you try to do something stupid, I beat the shit out of you.”

“You are allowed to beat us?” one of the Alfie squeals.

Alistair only smiles, “You're a filthy fag, I'm allowed to do with you whatever I please.”

With those words he bangs the door shut, leaving them alone. Alfie is shaking slightly and Dean considers comforting him. But then, he isn't here to make friends. He will probably be out here by tomorrow. He just has to talk to some authority, and tell them that this is a mistake. That he doesn't belong here, simply because he isn't gay. He decides to do it during therapy session. He doesn't say anything to the other two boys, and puts his duffle bag at the top of one of the bunk beds. The other boys are doing the same.

“Isn't it weird?” Alfie finally says, “We are three people, but there are four beds.”

As if on cue the door opens and Dean's breath hitches. In the door frame stands nobody else than Castiel. 

“Castiel,” Alfie exclaims and throws himself basically in the arms of the other boy, “Please tell me you're in our cabin,” he sobs.

Castiel smiles softly, “Relax, Samandriel. I told you I would watch out for you.”

Awesome, so Dean is in a cabin with a scared mouse, a  silent grump, and Mr Trouble Maker himself. Well that might be a bit harsh. He can understand why Alfie is crying, and just like Victor, he is also not the most social person. Dean is just trying his best not to get attached to them. He will be gone by tomorrow.

This Castiel though, is something else. Dean could never be so defiant like Castiel, or dress so obnoxiously. He still hasn't decided if Castiel is stupid or brave. Dean has to admit him talking back to Naomi has been impressive. But he doesn't want to give that guy any credit. He just wants to ignore him. He doesn't want to get to know him, he doesn't want to touch the blue tips of his hair, or ask when Castiel has gotten his lip piercing. He doesn't want to have anything to do with the guy at all. He doesn't even really look at the guy.

Still when Castiel walks toward Dean's bunk, Dean hears himself asking “Top or bottom?” His mouth is a dirty traitor.

“Top,” he answers and Dean already damns himself. He hates sleeping in the bottom bunk. He is about to grab his duffle when Castiel suddenly adds, “Oh you meant the bunk. Bottom, please.”

Dean's head shoots up and for the first time he sees Castiel's face from up close.

 _Blue,_ is all what his brain manages to process, _freaking blue_. First when Castiel winks, Dean understands what the punk just said, and blushes. Castiel shuffles past him and falls onto the bottom bunk.

 _I am not gay,_ Dean thinks once more, but a tiny voice in his head whispers, _what ever makes you sleep at night._  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very, very, very, very sorry that this took me so long. First the chapter got delted and then I had so much school stuff to deal with. I promise the next update won't take almost a month. I try to update once a week, usually on Saturdays. I'm really, very sorry.

An hour later Dean arrives at cabin three. It's taller than his own, light is floating through it and he can actually manage to breathe inside. The main room looks like a classroom, a blackboard at the front, chairs and tables behind it. In the front is standing a brunette woman, who is wearing a green shirt saying Camp Leviticus. Dean figures he should talk to her.

He walks towards her and she gives him an encouraging smile.

“Hi, I'm Dean,” he says,”and there has been a mistake.”

“Oh really?” she actually sounds concerned,”what's wrong?”

Out of the corner of his eyes Dean sees how other kids enter the room and sit down behind a table.

“I shouldn't be here,” he lowers his voice, “I am not gay. I have to get out of here.”

She gives him a sympathetic look,”I'm sorry, Dean. But your parents send you here for a reason, they just want your best. There is no way we can send you back tomorrow.”

Even though Dean feels like crying his, he has to hold back a snort. His parents, right. His, oh so loving dad and his new wife. They definitely don't want the best for Dean.

“However, we can send you home before the end of the summer when we think that you are finished with the therapy. And considering that you already said that you are not gay, is a good start,” she smiles and Dean wants to throw up. He has heard about those therapies. Basically they want him to turn into a homophobic douchebag. And that is definitely not a person he wants to be. He doesn't judge, what ever flows a persons boat.

“So be a good student and sit down,” she adds and Dean just nods. He will just have to pretend to agree with the camp, and he will get out here as soon as possible. Considering that he is an A student, it won't be too difficult to achieve. Also he is a quick learner.

When he turns around he realizes with horror that the only free seat is in the back row, of fucking course right next to Castiel. Dean feels like life is kidding him. 

Slowly he walks over to the seat, not daring to even glance at Castiel, and sits down. The chair is just as uncomfortable as the ones in high school and the table is filled with doodles and writings. Welcome to hell, one says. Dean swallows and focuses on the front of the room.

“Hi guys, I'm Ruby,” the brunette introduces herself, “and I will be working with you during these daily therapy sessions. You will have one in the morning and one before the daily bonfire. If you don't have therapy session you are free to join any other camp activity like swimming, sports and workshops. Camp Leviticus is basically like any other summer camp.”

“Except that you teach us to be homophobic assholes, scare us back in the closet and make us want to hate ourselves,” Castiel interrupts her speech, and when Dean looks up, all heads a turned towards the seat right next to him. Only Dean doesn't dare to turn his head.

“That's right,” Ruby says without any hesitation, her voice is still warm and charming, “you clearly should hate yourself for being such a disgusting abomination, for being sick and trying to spread your disease,” Ruby continues, but Dean has stopped listening. Even though he used to hate speeches like this, his stomach turns. Ruby sounds clam and friendly, it's different from the screaming, hateful voices in church. Dean hands curl to fists. But why should he care, she is not talking about him. He is not gay, so this is clearly not his business. But still he can't keep listening to her, no matter how much he wants to focus, it just makes him feel sick. He is going to find a way to pretend that his therapy was successful.

Instead of listening to Ruby, he looks at the other kids in this group. Some of them are clearly living the gay stereotype, judging by their appearance. For example the red head with the short hair and a flannel shirt in Dean's row. Or the guy two seats in front of him with blond, spiky hair, too tight skinny jeans, and a way too deep v-neck. Others look just like normal teenagers, for example the blonde girl, sitting in front of the stereotype lesbian, or Samandriel, who is sitting right in the front row. They could be in Dean's english class, or share lunch with him. Maybe he has played with them online. Well and then there is still Castiel.

Dean finally allows himself to glance at the punk. Castiel is currently busy using his tongue to toy with his lip piercing and Dean finds himself downright staring at Castiel's lips, instead of only giving him a quick glance. Castiel's ears are covered in piercings as well and spots something on Castiel's neck that could be a tattoo, but it's covered by his leather jacket.

Dean almost wishes that Castiel would take his jacket of, but then he realizes what he is doing and hurries to look back at Ruby. He is supposed to remember what she says so that it looks like he is passing his therapy, not spend his time checking out Castiel. In school he would have tried every thing to avoid a guy like Castiel. Dean knows his kind, they are slackers, always drunk or high, not caring about anything but themselves and how to provoke. And that's exactly what Castiel is doing right now. He keeps whispering with the red head right next to him and she starts to giggle and whisper back. It's distracting Dean from pretending to focus. So without thinking he turns towards them and hisses, “Would you please shut up?”

He regrets it immediately, because when Castiel turns around, he looks like a predator who just found his next meal.

“Why? So you can listen to that bullshit?,” he asks with a cocky smirk, and Dean is glad he is sitting, because his legs are shaking once more, “I've heard this therapy religion shit six times, believe me, it's not worth listening.”

Dean blinks perplexed, and Castiel turns back to the other girl. Six times, Dean wonders. Does that mean that Castiel has already spend six summers in this camp? If he heard this speech so often, it should be easy for him to pretend to successfully accept the therapy.

“You know if you pretend to agree with the therapy, they let you out of here before summer ends,” Dean says to Castiel, “You could easily be out here in a couple of weeks.”  
Castiel turns back to Dean, eye brows risen.

“Pass,” he simply says, and Dean can't just understand it.

“Why? Why spend six summers in this horrible summer camp?” he asks, almost angry. Castiel has the best chance to get out of here, yet he completely wastes it.  
“Because you can't pray the gay away,” Castiel answers, “and I rather spend every summer in this hell hole of summer camp, then to hate myself or others,” and for the first time he sounds serious. It's not mocking, not provoking, it's pure conviction and Dean swallows.

But then Castiel leans in closer, his face only inches away from Dean's, who's entire body tenses up.

“Also it's a great opportunity for meaningless summer flings,” he says with a wink.

“Way to ruin the mood, Cas,” the red head next to Castiel laughs, “I'm Charlie by the way, “ she tells Dean.

“Dean,” he says with a little nod, and she gives him a smile.

She opens her mouth to add something, but is suddenly interrupted by Ruby.

“Charlie, could you stop disturbing the therapy lesson,” she says, still smiling, but her voice is cold and sharp this time.

“Sure thing,” Charlie replies, “If you stop trying to make us feel ashamed about what we are and finally manage to come out the closet yourself, I will shut up.”

The entire groups is silent, Dean's jaw drops, and he is not the only one gaping.

Ruby's smile fades, and her eyes turn darker, almost black.

“Out,” she hisses, “Get out and to Naomi's office. And take Castiel with you.”

Charlie shrugs, gets up and walks towards the door. She looks relaxed and Dean wonders how she can keep so calm. If he were in her place, he would be so nervous, he would be shaking.

Castiel gets up as well, but not without bending down to Dean and whispering, “See you at the bonfire tonight,” and with a wink he leaves.

“Where was I,” Ruby tugs on her shirt, and looks at the blackboard, “Oh right. The bible already says-”

Dean just ignores her. His mind is stuck with Castiel and Charlie. He should probably keep as far away as possible from them, but yet he somehow feels drawn towards them. And he would be lying, if he wasn't a bit excited that Castiel said he will see Dean tonight. But Dean has always been good at lying to himself, and so he tries not to think about tonight.  
  



End file.
